Way more times in life then not people get so wrapped up in the struggle and stress of everyday that they forget what it feels like to allow themselves to feel the good in their life. In these trying times we can’t help but focus on the negatives because we are taught to find and perfect all the imperfections in ourselves and in our life. That negative energy fuels bad decisions and bad decisions holds us back. Imagine the surprise of realizing that the very thing holding you to your rock bottom is the is the effort your putting into overcoming what got there in the first place. It is then that you can see that you must not only change what you’re doing but also your way of thinking. This is the only way to truly change your life opening up the opportunity to allow yourself to feel the good!

This is a saying we hear far too much and have said many more times then that. “The Struggle is Real”, What does it even mean? and Who has actually earned the right to say it? How do we know that your struggle is as significant as mine and that mine can even hold a flame to that girl struggling over there. Who is the judge of life and its many struggles and when do we get to say, “ok i have struggled enough”? The answer to this question is so simple its stupid that nobody can actually see it well enough to do something about it. WE ARE! We are the ones who judge each other and ourselves until everyone feels undervalued and unaccepted. We put labels on everything that seems just a little bit out if the ordinary and different, and then we tell each other its wrong to not fit in. All the while we are creating our own struggles and fighting each other to stay with them. The human race is going to wipe itself out if we do not start paying attention…

Now don’t kid yourself… I’m not perfect. I have fucked shit all the way up. Recently might I add. I’m still trying to pull myself back into a position that I’m proud of, where I can stand up as the confident independent woman that I have worked so hard to become. I woke up one day with a beautiful family and a hard working fiancé and decided to tear it all down because we didn’t know how to talk to each other any more. I looked at my life and I knew I did not want to live in a world where me and the love of my life hurt each other as a way of getting our points across. I also knew that I did not want my children to learn to love like that. So I did the only thing I knew to do in a situation where I am scared and unsure how fix it… I ran away. I left my fiancé and I tried to build something with someone else who made me feel a little better about myself. But i soon learned that the the problem was not who I was building with, but was instead what I was trying to build for myself.

I will never forget the day I walked away from the life i was trying to build. The look on his face should have been enough to make me hesitate, but it was the reason I was doing this. It was supposed to give us the push off the edge to give US BOTH the better life that we deserved. Now here we are two years later right back at square one with broken hearts and unforgivable moments and unable to trust the only ones who actually mattered… OURSELVES. I destroyed it all because I thought that I could do better, That he could do better, that we deserved better… I was right… We did deserve better. But that doesn’t necessarily mean different, or someone new. We needed to do better within ourselves and have the chance to see that we have changed and grown as people, and that these new people didn’t know how to communicate as we once did and that doesn’t mean its gone, but needed to be rediscovered. How many times have this happened to you? Not just with a spouse, but with a friend, or family member or even a coworker. How many opportunities do we fuck up daily simply because we are intimidated and do not know how to communicate with our fellow humans to find a solution that improves the lives of all parties involved. And how many times do we have to hurt each other and our children before we can get it right? And even then…. Is it right? or does it just feel that way in the moment? WE ARE ALL STRUGGLING AND THE STRUGGLE IS REAL! Who can accept that the biggest struggle is within ourselves and speak up and speak out to do something about it?